How to Start a Conversation With a Girl? Well, just read this article to learn simple hacks that 100% work.
Humans are social beings and love the art of interaction. Yes, interacting with fellow human beings and striking a conversation is an art. While this might sound disappointing to you, but I am happy to tell you that this art can be skillfully mastered by following fairly simple steps.
The first step is to appear confident. By being confident I don’t mean to tell you that you should go over the top with your diction or posture but what I am really trying to say is that you should give your true self a shot and be calm most importantly.
How to Start a Conversation With a Girl?
1. Ability to start a conversation:
It is definitely not your looks that are central to achieve this feat. You are only step away from meeting that woman who you find attractive. You should know how to start a conversation with that woman who has got you swooned over with all her charms.
And by the right way, I mean in an attractive way that peaks her interest. Not a “cat-call” or a drunken and sloppy “Ayyyyy girl” at the club.
2. Don’t hesitate
Any hesitation can show that you are intimidated by the girl. Hesitation is an opportunity killer. The longer you wait and procrastinate on ways as to how to begin the conversation with that girl, the more difficult it is going to get. By delaying in doing you are making your fears even more strong. Just dive in, I say. By delaying, you give your fears time to infest in your system and stay for long.
Excuses will pop into your head as to why you shouldn’t…
“She probably has a boyfriend…”
“She looks busy…”
“She’s not exactly my type of girl…”
“She’s not even going to look at me..”
But you and I both know that these excuses are bullshit, and they’re holding you back. So the next time you see an attractive girl in your block, just go with the flow and start with making a conversation. The more you delay and procrastinate the more you postpone your chances of having that one sweet conversation.
3. Get through the Initial Awkwardness
So there’s this 10 seconds. What am I trying to tell you is there is a window of 10 seconds during which a sense of awkwardness exists between two strangers. These 10 seconds are crucial and can prove to be imperative for the rest of the conversation. Most of the awkwardness of the conversation will be at the beginning.
This happens because both parties are nervous and apprehensive about how the conversation is going to play. For her, she’s probably not in this situation very often. And for you, you’re talking to a pretty girl so there are bound to be some nerves.
That’s where the “10-second rule” comes into play.
Here’s the rule: the moment you feel awkward, stay in the conversation for 10 more seconds.
Whether it’s at the beginning of the interaction (which it usually is) or further along – just get through the 10 seconds of awkwardness without walking away.
What you’ll often find is that the awkwardness was either in your head, or that it wasn’t all that big of a deal anyway.
Once you get through those 10 seconds of awkwardness, it becomes much easier to connect with her and continue the conversation.
Plus, you won’t have to abandon opportunities where you could have grabbed a beautiful girl’s number and set up a date!
4) Bridge the Conversation
Bridging the conversation is an important part of the entire conversation. This factor determines the longevity of any conversation. If you do not bridge the conversation, often there will be times when the intended conversation could end as small talk. We all know that small talks always end quickly.
- Ask open ended questions: You have make conversations which makes the girl do more talking than simply answering a simple yes or a no. This also gives her an impression that you are genuinely interested in listening to her. Well that’s a win- win situation right there. Any girl loves being heard and this is working for you as well.
- Make some guesses: Makes some cute guesses about the way she talks. I hope you don’t downplay this advice. Do not pass any derogatory comment that will make her conscious or feel the need to walk away. Be sensitive and go easy on the language.
If she has travelled a lot, it makes sense to infer that she has a nomadic soul and is an adventurer.
- Oh she says she loves snorkeling? Tell her how frightened you were of water and how much you hated that swimming instructor of yours. Tell her about your experiences too, but I will suggest do not make this conversation about yourself. You are giving inputs simply to make the conversation go on smoothly and hopefully for a longer period of time.
5) Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder
This is an extremely important thing to remember always. Most guys start assuming things and downplay their abilities. They just keep going on and on about beautiful the girl and how she will never be interested in him.
- Oh man! She’s too tall for me……
(Well! Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise happened)
- She’s too beautiful for me…..
(Umm. Do I need to remind you all about Heidi Klum and Seal)
…And, oh man, How do I look Hot!
Most guys default to thoughts like, “She’s probably not going to be into me.” Then, if they do muster up the balls to approach the girl, their reality reflects their beliefs and the girl rejects them.
But instead, you should adapt the assume attraction mindset. You will become what you believe in.
Here’s how it works:
Is she dressed nice? It’s because she’s trying to impress you. She’s playing with her hair? She’s into you. She’s standing with good posture? It’s because she wants you to notice her breasts and her butt popping out. Trick that mind of yours to think that everything that she is doing is for you. I mean not to sound obsessed with one’s own self, all I am trying to say is be optimistic.
I know that girl is a one in a million, but so are you man!
When you assume women are attracted to you, you’ll start acting like it. You’ll make more sexual innuendos, lead women, have a sexier vibe, and put yourself in a position to succeed. All this will happen simply because you are having faith in yourself. You’ll be more comfortable interacting with women because you won’t be worried about picking up on their signs of attraction. You will be self motivated and will be doing your own thing.
6) Kick start a conversation
I am a firm believer that preparation is key to all success. If you tend you naturally get nervous and believe in preparation just like I do, it is better that you have some conversation starters in your mind. If you freeze and tend to mess up at the nick f the time, well I do have a simple solution for that as well.
No, you do not exactly need a handwritten list; all you need is a general idea of some decent conversation starters that could be used at any given time.
- Hey what are you up to?
This is the simplest of them all, but works every single time.
- Hey how is it going on?
This question is so wide that anything can come out of it. This is your safe weapon when you are flustered and have no idea as to what you want to say or do.
Yes, call me dull but I am sorry if I am not being creative at that time. I have a hundred other things racing my mind and can barely keep up with the pace of my wayward thoughts.
When you have mastered the basic level, time to up your game and go a notch up. Try going in for a direct approach.
“Hey… I know this is reaaaallly random… but I saw you walking by… and I thought you were cute… So I had to say ‘Hi’…I’m [Your name].” This one is best to use during the day, when the social interaction isn’t as expected.”
Now that you are being and experimenting a little bit, it is time that you take a little advantage of the comfort that you have finally managed to gain after the little conversation you have had until now. . .
For example, let’s say the two of you are staring at one of those street performers who pose as a statue. You could say, “I always confuse these things with real statues. My friends always make fun of me for it.” This is a fun, tongue-in-cheek way to initiate the conversation.
This will make things ease around you.
7. Introduce yourself
Approach the girl you want to start a conversation with, smile and say hello. Tell her your name and ask for hers. Keep it simple. A genuine, polite greeting beats a cheesy pick-up line any day.
Ask her how she is doing. Politely asking a girl how her day was or how she’s feeling is a nice way to get her talking. It also makes a good impression as it shows that you are genuinely interested in her and are willing to listen.
A simple “How are you doing today?” never fails. Make sure to listen to her answer, it’s not supposed to be a rhetorical question!
Ask her “How was your day today? Did you do anything fun?” This prompts her to give more than a one word answer and gives you a chance to show off those amazing listening skills
8. Talk about the surrounding
Comment about the weather. You can’t go wrong with a harmless observation about the weather, or some other matter-of-fact subject. Make a comment about how sunny/windy/rainy it is. This gives you a safe topic to break the ice with.
Once she has responded you can move on to more engaging topics. Turn it into a question, rather than a statement.
9. Bring up pop culture
Referencing pop culture is a clever, non-personal way to bring up personal interests. By finding out what kind of movies or music a girl likes, you can gain an insight into the type of person she is and what her interests are. Such valuable information could help you plan an awesome future date!
For televisions shows, ask her something like “Do you watch Mad Men? Who is your favorite character?”
For music, ask her “Have you heard Daft Punk’s new album? What did you think?
For movies, “Have you seen the latest Tarantino film? I heard it’s fantastic! Yes, this time maybe that you make some Pulp Fiction references. That never goes out of style.”
10. Mention an upcoming event
Mentioning an upcoming event, such as a music festival or exam, can give you something to get excited or nervous about with the girl. This creates a rapport between the two of you and allows the girl to see how much you have in common!
If you’re both taking the same exam, you could say something like “I’m dreading the math final next week. I suck at algebra! How are you feeling about it?”
If you’re having a conversation about music, you could mention an upcoming festival. Say something like “Are you going to Coachella this year? I went with a bunch of friends last year, we had a blast! What bands are you hoping to see?”
If it’s coming up to a holiday, you could say something like “I can’t wait for Halloween next week. My friend is having a house party and I’ve got a great werewolf costume planned. Are you doing anything fun?”
hilarious, isn’t he?”
11. Pose an interesting question
Asking the girl an unusual or thought-provoking question will break the ice and allow the girl to speak her mind. It will give the girl a chance to express herself while you make a good impression for asking such an interesting question in the first place. Win-win!
Try something like “If you could be an animal, what type of animal would you be?”
Or something like “What are the top five places you want to visit before you die?”
Or maybe “Would you ever consider going in for a skydive?”
12. Mention a shared interest
Discovering that you have a shared interest is conversational gold and will really help you to start establishing a bond with the girl. It doesn’t matter what the interest is – be it reading, running, rowing or rock-climbing – what matters is that it’s something you share.
If you discover that you both like running you could ask her what her favorite local routes are, or if she’s ever considered training for a marathon.
If you both like reading, you could ask her who her favorite author is or what she thought of a recent film adaption of a well-known novel.
If it’s something really quirky, ask her how she first got involved with it and compare stories!